Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Baby Blues

I've got the Returning to Work Baby Blues- 2 days until I go back. I'm excited to see all my friends and to use the thinking part of my brain again, but I am going to miss The Potamus so much. I keep telling myself that he is going to be sleeping almost the whole time I am gone so I'm not going to miss out on anything--except the cuddle before bedtime and his goofy sweet smile in the morning when he wakes up. It's just two days a week, I think we will both survive without each other. At least I know he will survive without me, I might be slightly maimed without him (its only a flesh wound...Monty Python anyone?).

It's only a flesh wound
Matt is out of town for this whole week which means I get Clark all to myself for 5 days in a row--I've never really been good at sharing. I would even hoard food when I was little....I WAS AN ONLY CHILD! Who the heck was going to take my food away from me? The poodles?

Proof I do share...sometimes
 The past week we have been taking it easy, I have been trying to soak up as much time with Clark as I can. We have hit all the Goodwills and Salvation Armies within a 20 mile radius looking for items to turn trash into treasure....stay tuned for before and after pictures. Look out, Martha Stewart, you have some new competition! We even managed to make it to an auction one day, but had to leave early because it was getting too hot outside. I strapped him into his little front pack carrier, put my bid number on his back and we were off to buy some antiques. Yes, I used the front pack carrier. The same front pack carrier that I had a melt down in Babies R Us over because I didn't want to put my kid in a backpack. I thought it was inhumane, Matt insisted on registering for it and I cried like a 2 year old. Hormones, yikes.

Hootie has become a staple for Clark, it is so funny how kids (even 12 weeks old) have preferences. He loves Hootie, thank goodness we didn't go with the name Hooter after all. Bonus: Look at his little Elf Ear sticking out--come to find out all Williams Boys have that ear and they all have it on the left side. Weird. They grow into it and it straightens its self out a little later.

 Hope everyone has a good rest of their week and hopefully I have more interesting things to report on in next week's update.


Sunday, August 21, 2011

Farmhand Clark Rolls and Goes to the Zoo


Clark surprised the heck out of himself when he rolled on to his side this week. He looked at me like I should have warned him this day would come. I felt bad that I hadn't warned him that his chubby little legs would eventually pull him over to his side. I never wanted him to be caught off guard again so I proceeded to warn him about playing with matches, girls, hitch hikers, ponzi schemes and infomercials.  By the way, his shirt says Stud Muffin, not just muffin. Although, he is built like a muffin so it would be appropriate.

This week Clark was hired on as a farmhand at theWillaims' Ranch. He is helping us tend to the garden and learning how to grow 4 different varieties of delicious tomatoes, a few cucumbers and some horrible tasting carrots. I'm going to blame the putrid tasting carrots on Farmhand Clark's inexperience with gardening.

I also talked the zoo up real big this week, I explained that all the animals from his little play mat gym were going to be there, but they would be real, I even sang him songs about animals to set the mood. He was excited. **thanks Danielle for taking us**

Super pumped to see some real animals!

He became confused as to why the animals weren't bright, seizure inducing colors like the ones in his gym.

Not too thrilled with the neutral color schemes
 He quickly lost interest.

Out for 3 hours. Clark <3 the Zoo

But, geeze, with under eye bag like those, he deserves a nap! You may have noticed the little owl that is accompanying Clark these days, that is Hootie and he was a gift from Matt's good friend Josh and his wife Shilpa. We were going to name him Hooter, but didn't think it would be appropriate for a child to be walking around saying "Mommy, where is my Hooter?" Good thing I am a planner and think ahead.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Mustache Party


There is nothing cuter than a baby, except maybe a baby with a Tom Sellek mustache.

The poor guy got my short stature and more than likely will get Matt's inability to grow facial hair. Wait, that came out wrong, it makes it sound like I CAN grow facial hair. I can't, I just want to clear that up. We are a facial hair free family, but it was fun to pretend.

Have a good week
Mustache Colie

Thursday, August 11, 2011

A Weeks Worth of Happenings


This week the Butterball had his 2 month doctor appointment, which included 2 shots in each of his chubby little baby thighs.

He is boxing at a heavy weight level, 13 pounds 1 ounce, that's right, the Clarkster is in the 80th percentile for weight. However, he wont be reaching the top shelf anytime soon, he is in the 20th percentile for height. Out of all my traits he could have gotten, he got my height. He drew the short straw. Sorry kiddo.

I was so nervous before the doctor appointment, you would have thought I was getting juiced up in the legs, not Clark. He screamed while the nurse was pumping him full of immunity, he didn't take a breath for about 30 seconds and turned purple. I had to pull out the old nurse's trick of blowing on his face to make him breath. As soon as she stopped with all the needle action and placed the neon band aids over the puncture sites he was business as usual. All smiles. Ain't nothing gonna get him down.

Again, no ears and again with the seizure inducing shirt (it is my favorite one he has though)
 Other business this week included Krum going to the beauty shoppe, getting quaffed and showing more black skin spots then ever. I keep telling him to lay off the tanning beds and that he is going to get skin cancer. He has been watching too much Jersey Shore lately and wants to be as tan as Snookie (he already has the poof)

I forgot to mention that last Saturday was my first time leaving Clark for longer than a few hours. I think I handled it well, I only called once. I can only imagine what I am going to be like when I go back to work. A hot mess, that's for sure. I miss him when he sleeps for cryin' out loud!!

I see an ear! And of course a Frazier

And that was this weeks happenings.

Monday, August 8, 2011


1, 120. That is how many off-brand electric orange cheese balls we Matt and Frazier ate over the last 2 months. Matt placed the grotesquely large and empty cheeseball container back into the pantry. I will never understand why he is always putting empty boxes and containers away...drives me bonkers. Like the empty space it would leave throws the whole pantry off balance.

Here is a comparison photo so you can appreciate the sheer magnitude of these cheeseballs.

Why did I allow 1,120 electric orange cheese balls into the house? Because they were on sale for $5.99 and I'm a sucker for a good bargain.

Friday, August 5, 2011

2 Months


2 months have flown by so fast I hardly even caught a glimpse of it. I spend every waking moment staring at Clark and wondering to myself how in the world I got so lucky. Sometimes, when he is sleeping, I try to make a lot of noise so it will wake him up and I can play with him some more. All I managed to do was make him a more sound sleeper, a herd of elephants traipsing through our living room wouldn't yield a eyelid lift from him.

He woke up last weekend and I could have sworn he was bigger. I talked about it all morning. When we went to put him in his car seat that day I had to adjust the straps! He did grow overnight (told ya, Matt).

This months accomplishments included figuring out how to bring objects directly into his mouth, drooling profusely over said object and gumming it into oblivion.

It looks like he is smokin' a stogie (without inhaling of course)
His other feat this month was not having a seizure when I dressed him in this outfit and placed him in his jungle themed play gym. What in the world was I thinking?

We took his 2 month pictures today, but I don't think he grasped the idea of what we were doing. He was practicing his break dance moves with such enthusiasm that I got very few pictures without a blurred extremity.

I thought that if I fed him before the photo shoot it would make him fat and happy for the pictures. This was true, however, I didn't account for the frequent projectile spit ups that were to follow. His onesie sticker stopped onesie sticking after about 3 minutes.

Of course Frazier was there to provide additional support and lend his artistic point of view. He tried to explain to Clark what smiling with your eyes meant and what a real model was supposed to look like, but in the end, demonstrated it instead.

Like this, Clark, just like this.
Still without a clue what the word fierce was supposed to mean during a photo shoot, Clark smiled the only real way there is to smile, using his whole face.

Have a fierce weekend and smile with your eyes.

P.S. How come my baby looks like he has no ears in all his pictures? The one where you can actually see his ear, it look elfish. Poor guy.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

 Its Shark Week on the Discovery Channel

The Clark Shark

Celebrate Accordingly